Subspace

There seems to be a lot of interest in subspace, and i see some people holding it up as sort of a "gold standard" they use to judge Dominants and submissives and scenes with, and quite honestly that's bullshit.

Subspace is just a place you sometimes end up in your head and it's different for everyone. It's also not exclusive to submissives, Dominants experience it too.

For myself, i don't recognize i'm in subspace until after the fact and probably wouldn't have labeled it as such if i hadn't dropped so hard after my first experience with it. And even then it was several days before i could actually process it and articulate it.

For me, subspace is everything feeling right and wanting more.

It's like that perfect date we all dream of where everyone says the "right" thing and does the "right" thing. Where everyone is witty and clever and the food is perfectly flavored and there is the exact perfect amount. Where you think of and say the perfect response to whatever your date says, and they say the perfect thing back.

Only it's a scene and the things being done and said involve pain and humiliation.

For me, it's feeling no hesitation and no trepidation even when you're skirting along the edges of your limits. Everything feels good and tastes good and you're all powerful and the world is beautiful and you can move mountains with your bliss.

In short, it's a really good endorphin high. Your system is flooded with adrenaline and all kinds of other feel good hormones and you feel alive. Alive alive.

Does it happen every time? nope. Does that mean other scenes aren't good scenes and other fun isn't good fun? nope. It just means that this one particular scene ended up there.

And the thing is, it wouldn't be as amazing when it does happen if it happened that way every single time. Plus it would be exhausting. Like take a week or more to recover at least, exhausting.

And everything can't be perfect all the time. And everyone can't be perfect all the time.

And sometimes less is more. And i can't stress that enough. Sometimes less is more.

If you go into every scene expecting perfection i don't see how you can avoid being disappointed. Scenes are about having fun not about being perfect.

And honestly, when it happens for me, i never know it's happening while it's happening. i'm just having a really good time.

And then also there's drop to contend with. The first time i experienced that i wasn't expecting it at all. And now, even knowing what drop feels like, knowing what to expect, it still really sucks. i can't stress this enough. i don't like drop at all.

But if you have this idea in your head that to be a good submissive or to be a good Dominant or to have a good scene that subspace has to be achieved you're missing out on a lot of fun.

A lot, a lot of fun.

~sandi

ps. agree with me? disagree with me? leave a comment please. :)