Being Submissive

People sometimes ask, “When did you decide you were submissive?” And certainly you can make decisions that affect your attitude about things, but i didn’t decide to be submissive, i am submissive.

It’s a state of being, like when you are happy, or angry, or content, or scared. Yes, you can make choices about things you do that affect your attitude, but you don’t decide what scares you, it just does. You don’t decide what moves you, it just does.

i think if people understood that better they might be less judgmental of other people’s kinks.

i love water, love the ocean, i once spent almost an entire day on the beach in Waikiki, just swimming out into the ocean and letting the tides and waves push me back to shore while i floated, buoyed by the water. It’s not something i chose to love, i just do. It was relaxing, amazing, fun. A very good day.

i have a friend who is terrified of water, any depth that is over her head. She doesn't swim, never goes in the ocean, not even to chase waves on the shoreline. What for me is bliss would for her be torture. She doesn't choose it, i don’t choose it. It just is.

I don’t think you can turn someone into a submissive if they don’t already have it in them. I don’t think you can turn someone into a Dominant if it doesn't exist within them already. The same goes for a Top, or a bottom, a switch, a slave, a pet, a pain slut. We are what we are.

A person can role play, a person can fake it, but the satisfaction, the well being that i get from submitting, isn't something that i make happen, it isn't something my Dom makes happen, it is something that happens within me that i embrace.

I didn't decide to be submissive, i am submissive, i decided to embrace it.

~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here