submission vs bottoming

Several of Y/you have asked the difference between bottoming and submission and it’s a good question. :)

So here’s how i define and differentiate between them. i’m no expert, this is simply my understanding.   

Both bottoms and submissives are usually in the receiving role when it comes to BDSM, however, there is no D/s dynamic when bottoming. 

Submission is about pleasing and serving your Dominant, where as bottoming is being in the receiving role without the emotional investment toward the person in the giving role.

As an example, if you were to go to a tasting (an event with different stations set up where a person can try out or get a “taste” of different BDSM activities) and you decide to try a “taste” of flogging, a “gifter” there may flog you but you would most likely be bottoming for the flogger vs submitting to them. 

Or if you are a masochist who enjoys receiving pain, you may bottom for a sadist without ever submitting to them.

Submission includes the emotional desire to please the person in the “giving” role. It usually includes an ongoing relationship between the people involved with the submissive having agreed to accept the guidance and support of the Dominant and the Dominant having agreed to guiding and supporting the submissive.

The guidance and support may include exploring limits, it may include protocols and activities, it may include life choices. What it does and doesn't include depends on the needs and agreements of those involved. 

Bottoming can also include an ongoing relationship between the bottom and their Top, but it doesn't include the need to please, serve and be guided by the other.

Bottoming can almost be seen as a self-serving centric vs submission which could be seen as an other-serving centric, but that’s not completely accurate. The difference is subtle because in serving the other the submissive is also serving their own needs.

This answer only touches on the differences, but i hope it helps. What i’ve said here is kind of like saying the ocean is water…it is water, but that hardly explains it. :)

Ultimately Y/you are the only one who can define Y/yourself, who knows how Y/you identify and what that means to Y/you.

~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here