The Bra - A tutorial

i had a bit of fun earlier this year making a spiked bra and it's been an incredibly popular post on my tumblr.

So...for those of Y/you who would like to make one of your own, here are the instructions.

Materials

• A bra of appropriate size
• Metal spikes, i got mine here
• A nail
• Hex screw driver

Here's what i did, and what i would do differently if i ever make a second one.

To put the spikes in you just have to push a hole through the material first, which i did with a nail that was close in size to the shaft of the spike. The spikes screw together, so push the spike shaft through the hole and tighten the back with the driver. Easy peasey. :)

For this bra i started in the center of each cup and put in four holes surrounding the nipple area, and then worked out from there trying to stagger the placement of the spikes. It turned out well enough, but if i were to do it again i would start at the edge and work my way across the cup of the bra. The reason being it got a little uneven and difficult to gage placement and ultimately i wanted the entire cup filled anyway. It doesn't keep it from being a delicious toy to play with, but i would like it better if the spacing had been consistent throughout and i just couldn't achieve it the way i started.

Wearing it is incredible fun. When it's first on it's a little uncomfortable but not incredibly so. If you spend your time with a sadist they seem to take great pleasure in squeezing, pressing, pushing etc. which can go from pretty mild to pretty intense. Even without the assistance of a sadist after a while the spikes start to ache a little and the pain increases the longer it is worn.

Something i wasn't expecting is when your breast is squeezed inside the bra, because it's a supple fabric the ends of the spikes move together and apart which pinches and is particularly ouchy. Especially when it gets just a little bit of skin between the tips of the spikes.

And all pain aside, just having it on, the weight and the pressure of it makes one incredibly aware of their breasts.

That's it, it's incredibly simple but somehow people seem to be intimidated by the idea. Don't be, it was amazingly easy and inexpensive and only took and hour or so to make. And it's great fun.

If Y/you have any questions let me know in the comments. i would love to see Y/your projects if you try it or something similar.

~sandi

Ice Cream

my favorite dessert in the whole wide world is ice cream. i love it. Give it to me on a stick, in a cone, a bowl, drizzle it with fudge or sprinkle it with fruit, heck, hand me a tub of ice cream and a spoon and i’ll be happy.

Ice cream, in my opinion is the food of the gods.

And my most favorite ice cream is a mud pie made by a local restaurant here in town. 

Now pay attention, because i’m pretty sure there’s magic at work in the recipe. It has an crushed oreo cookie pie crust with a thin layer of fudge spread over the bottom. Then a layer of coffee ice cream and a layer of vanilla, each about one and a half inches thick, followed by another thin coating of fudge. Then the whole thing is topped by whipped cream and candied almond slices, and it is divine!

It goes for almost eight dollars a slice, and if you order a whole mud pie ahead of time you can get it for the bargain price of $45, and it is worth every penny.

i don’t eat it every day because, well frankly, it’s very rich, it’s loaded with calories, it’s expensive, and it’s too much work to make. Every layer takes prep time and chill time before you can move on. It’s a process that takes hours, i've done it.

Now you may wonder what inspired me to go on about ice cream on my naughty blog, and sadly, it isn't because i'm eating a slice of mud pie right now. 

It’s because it occurred to me that ice cream and mud pie are a perfect metaphor for something i've experienced with my play partners in the lifestyle.

And here it is. You don’t have to feed me mud pie every night.

The mud pie is delish, and i will never turn down a slice, but as i said before i got to the mud pie, i am perfectly happy with ice cream in any of it’s yummy and varied forms. 

You don’t have to pull out all the stops every night. You don’t have to come up with something new and different and amazing and more all the time.  

I don’t need or want pushing limits and exploring new territory every time we play. Some times i just want to share a tub of ice cream and to spoon.

In fact, sometimes, i want a cookie, or a cupcake, or to skip dessert all together or have a second helping of the main dish instead.

You’re making this harder than it has to be, and letting the ice cream melt in the process. Let’s have the mud pie as a treat.

That’s all i’m saying. Ice cream is good, don’t ruin it for me.

~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here

It Doesn't Work That Way

i see so many new submissives thinking they have no say in their relationship with their Dom and it doesn't work that way.

If you have no say with your Dom, it is because you have negotiated to give them that control, not because you are submissive and you have no choice and your Dom has taken it away from you.

i am submissive, not because i like to be abused, neglected, made to do things i don’t like and ignored. i am submissive because i take joy and pleasure in submitting to another’s will. It turns me on, it gets me off. i love when He tells me what to do, when He pushes limits, when He makes decisions and choices for me, but not ones that make me miserable and unhappy all the time.

If He is pushing a limit and helping me to expand my understanding, my experience, my pleasure and my joy, then yes, please, push me past my comfort zone, it may be difficult but i know and have consented to that difficulty, i know, W/we know, that ultimately He is giving me what i want, i know i can trust Him with my limits.

But that isn’t Him pushing me to do things i am genuinely not okay with. It is not Him pursuing only His pleasure while neglecting mine. And the way that He knows the difference is limits and negotiation. Limits are good. Everyone has them, Doms have limits, subs have limits. 

Limits protect your relationship. They set the boundary's of Y/your play. They show you where the line is, where to push, where to pull back. Know Y/your limits, discuss them, negotiate them, they are for both of Y/you.

Your Dom isn't doing you a favor by dominating you any more than you are doing your Dom a favor by submitting to Him. You submit to Him because it brings you pleasure and joy, He dominates you because it brings Him pleasure and joy.

He wants the D/s relationship as much as you do, He is getting something from the D/s relationship as much as you are. It is as much His best interest to know your limits as it is yours.

If He is consistently pushing you past what is acceptable to you, the relationship will fail. If Y/you aren't discussing both of your wants and needs, it will fall apart. You may lose your Dom, but He is losing His sub as well. Talk about limits, understand them, accept them, work around them, negotiate, communicate.

i love giving up control, i love submitting, i am submissive.

There are many submissives in the world, and luckily there are Doms out there to compliment that feeling, who love receiving that control. But no matter if it is a long term relationship, or a one time scene, what is going on between Y/you during that time is a relationship.

Y/you are in this together. You don’t just show up as a sub and start doing everything He tells you to do without discussion. Just because you are sub doesn't put you at the whim or mercy of any Dom that comes along who wants to dominate you. He isn't all knowing, if Y/you haven’t discussed it, negotiated it, how can you possible serve Him well, how can He possibly dominate you. It doesn't work that way!

~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here