Limits

This is a rant, so be forewarned.

People who say they don’t have limits make me angry. They are misrepresenting the lifestyle and being irresponsible. Here’s why.

Everyone has limits. Everyone.

It’s a really nice fantasy to be in a relationship where there is nothing you wont do for your partner, where there is nothing your partner wont do for you, but that is exactly what it is, a fantasy.

For the most part, W/we are in this for fantasy fulfillment. So it’s great if Y/you have found someone who has limits that match Y/yours and Y/you trust each other completely.

But for people new to the lifestyle, for the uneducated, for the confused, you are planting seeds and sowing…i don’t even know what you are sowing, but it’s messed up.

Would Y/you kill someone? Would Y/you abuse a child? Would Y/you? The answer better be a resounding no! What about kidnapping someone? Forcing someone to do something against their will? 

So yes, Y/you have limits. W/we all have limits. It’s good to have limits. Limits are important. W/we would all be psychopaths if W/we had no limits.

Y/your limits may not be my limits and that’s fine. Y/you just need to find a compatible playmate who accepts Y/your limits and enjoy each other.

And limits change over time. The more Y/you experience, the more Y/you enjoy, the more Y/you discover about Y/yourself changes what Y/you are willing to try and do.

W/we are lucky when W/we have play partners W/we trust enough to let them push our limits without crossing the line. Partners who help U/us learn and grow. W/we are lucky when W/we have developed a relationship in which W/we can let go and enjoy each other and the fantasy that there is absolutely nothing Y/you wouldn’t try or do for Y/your partner.

And honestly i think that is what people mean when they say they have no limits. They are saying they have complete trust in their partner.

But it is not responsible to the community to claim to have no limits.

Is it any wonder there are so many people new to the lifestyle who are abused or abusing others?

Is it any wonder W/we don’t have the same rights and privileges as the vanilla world?

Is it any wonder people lose their jobs when their involvement in the lifestyle is made known?

Is it any wonder the mainstream media and vanilla folks think W/we are all perverted crazies?

If W/we confuse fantasy with reality and represent ourselves that way, how can we blame others for doing the same?

~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here