How do Y/you identify?

Every person has their own idea of who they are and how they identify. Everyone has their own unique definition of what exactly that means to them.

For me, i identify as a submissive, and that may mean something different to me than it does to Y/you. i can bottom, and i can have fun doing it, but it’s not going to keep me happy for long.

For me, because i identify as a submissive, bottoming is cotton candy and popcorn. And there’s nothing wrong with cotton candy and popcorn, in fact they are super yummy when Y/you’re at the fair or circus. But if all i’m getting is cotton candy and popcorn, i’m going to go home hungry at the end of the day. 

For me, because i identify as a submissive, submission is so much more. It’s flaming steak kabobs served with wild rice and grilled vegetables while lounging by a tropical beach. It’s a hearty soup with homemade bread and a glass of wine on a cold winters night. It’s grilled cheese sandwiches and prime rib and any other food that fills me. It’s nourishing and sustaining and it satisfies me in a way that cotton candy and popcorn don’t.

That doesn't make bottoming wrong, only wrong for me.

If i identified as a bottom i imagine exactly the opposite would be true.

It’s important to know Y/yourself. It’s important to choose play partners and activities that fulfill Y/your needs. It’s important to speak up if those needs aren't being met. 

So communicate, communicate, communicate. If Y/you aren't talking about it how can Y/you know?

i identify as a submissive, and it helps define what works for me. 

The question Y/you need to answer is, how do Y/you identify?

~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here