How can i put this...

i get approached on tumblr. fairly often via asks and if i don't ignore it because it's completely inappropriate you probably have received a response.

i suppose it shouldn't surprise me, but somehow it always does when the unknown and unmet person on the other side of the ask assumes:

1. i'm a slave
2. i am "unowned" and seeking some foulmouthed asshole to step in and take control of me, or alternately, that
3. i am "owned" and must seek permission from my "owner" to speak with them

The number of assumptions involved boggles my mind.

i identify as a submissive.

There is nothing wrong with identifying as a slave, i just don't happen to.

If you're approaching me on my tumblr. i would hope you at least looked around a little bit before hitting the ask button, but even if you haven't it says i'm a submissive right below the enthralling pic of my left breast that seems to have prompted the ask... (sorry, i know sarcasm doesn't translate well to the written word, but i can't seem to help myself.)

In any case, let's assume for the sake of argument that i do identify as a slave. i still haven't met you or negotiated anything with you or agreed to be your slave.

Still my inbox gets filled by all kinds of idiocy.

i certainly haven't agreed to be your slut or your whore or your dirty little anything and yet that is frequently the opening gambit. No, i wont bow down before you. No, i wont grovel for you. And No, i certainly wont suck your cock.

On-line anonymity aside, how anyone thinks they can approach a stranger whom they know nothing about and start throwing that shit down blows me away.

Again, i have nothing against being a slut, whore or dirty anything for a person with whom i have negotiated and made agreements. In fact i quite enjoy it. But not from some "Dom" who clearly knows nothing of the lifestyle.

Seriously, you're outing yourself with that behavior. 

And finally, if i did identify as a slave and have an owner with whom i have given control and permission is required prior to my speaking with someone other than them or approved friends, why would i respond?

If my agreements preclude me corresponding and/or speaking with others not approved by my owner, and i were to respond to your message i would be breaking the very agreement that you assume is in place.

i suppose i could be prompted by your rude assumptions to rush off and ask my owner to allow me to speak with you prior to responding, but that seems a little far fetched. Most Dom's i know are as irritated and annoyed by your behavior as i am.

So, hmmm, let me think about this for a minute....no, No, NO. 

i'm a firm believer in the adage that if you feed a troll you have to keep it, so i avert my eyes and walk on by.

~sandi

And then, i just have to add this because maybe it is an honest mistake.  If you are new to the lifestyle and you don't know where to meet people or learn, then send me a civil message stating it and ask for the information you need. Most people in the lifestyle will respect you for it and it doesn't make you any less dominant. Everyone was new at one time.