Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Control and Being In Control

Control is a big deal in BDSM/Lifestyle play. As a submissive, i am willingly giving my Dominant control over me. i want Him to take charge, to be in control. i consent and give Him that power over me, and in that giving i am trusting Him with my person, my psyche, my emotions, my well-being. Trust isn't just desired, it's mandatory.

It’s not just control over me that i need from Him though. Even more, i need Him to be in control of Himself. The activities and play of the lifestyle are intense. The activities and play are dangerous. As players W/we want that intensity, W/we flirt with that danger. We get high from dancing on the edge. But always, always W/we need someone to be in control, to keep U/us from falling over the edge into the abyss, to keep U/us from harm. And that control belongs to the Dominant, and it isn’t control of the sub, but control of self.

It is understood in the lifestyle that the submissive is in control, and certainly, if the Dom has self control, that is true. But that is the danger and the risk we as submissives take when we consent to play. The risk that the Dom, the person in control, will be able to control themselves.

Control is a big deal in BDSM/Lifestyle play.


~sandi

originally posted on my tumblr. here


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